Nobody roll their eyes…

Nothing really happened in court today.  A deal was offered by the prosecutor but J’s lawyer thinks he can do better so they didn’t take it and I guess now they try to negotiate a better offer.  I will keep you posted on that but basically the lawyer said this could drag on for a few months at least. Now on to the eye rolling information…

J is doing really well. He is highly motivated to stay clean and is actually keeping that promise.  He absolutely does not want to go back into rehab.  I would and should be devastated but things seem different this time.  His behavior has changed, his sleeping patterns are better and he is making plans for a future instead of just surviving day-to-day.  I have real hope.  I  know I have said the “hope” word before but in the back of my mind I was just biding time until the inevitable relapse. This feels different. I may be heading for a big fall but I believe him.

I was a little uncomfortable writing this because I know if I saw this on someone else’s blog I might actually roll my eyes. I want to believe that this is different. If I am delusional so be it….it is working for us all right now. Oh and just so all my readers know…I will see if you roll your eyes and there will be consequences people. ;o)

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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15 Responses to Nobody roll their eyes…

  1. Kristi says:

    I case you’re wondering (or not looking) I didn’t roll my eyes! I think this is good news! Maybe i’m delusional, but I am the one always thinking what if this time really is different and I believe anything is possible! So hold onto your hope and keep praying as I will be for you and J!! All things are possible through Him!

  2. Ron Grover says:

    Hold on to the hope. Been there done that. The important thing about this you is your are going in with your eyes open. That’s the difference of doing it with blind hope and realistic hope.

  3. gal says:

    I will never roll my eyes about hope. Grab it and give it all your energy. When your child is an addict, whether in recovery or not, you never know what tomorrow will bring. But you do know how much the negative things that happen sap your energy, like it or not. Feed the positive with a clear conscience, but as Ron says, keep your eyes open. Do not be surprised if your son displays “two steps forward, one step back” as this progresses. It’s all about the end result, and hope keeps us fueled along the way. Here’s to you and J!
    -Gal

  4. HerBigSad says:

    Never give up hope! That’s my motto! No eye rolling here – instead, I closed my eyes and said a prayer of thanksgiving for your son’s visible progress and for strength for him to continue the forward motion!

    Ron (above) gave us an analogy about a wet but drying concrete sidewalk once, and ever since, I’ve tried to focus on moving forward, myself, and being grateful and encouraging during the times that I see my daughter doing the same. No getting our feet stuck, just keep on plodding. Can’t change the past, and let’s don’t get mired down in the present. Forward march!

    Prayers will continue…. Hugs to you!

  5. Kathy M. says:

    I’m not rolling my eyes. We all want our loved ones to do well, and should be happy when they are. Enjoy this time. Hugs.

  6. Barbara says:

    No eye rolling, just a hug. We can’t give up hope and J is giving you some good signs that he is doing better and wants to stay clean. Sleeping patterns are always a huge clue.

    Will be HOPING for the best !!!!

  7. Tori Lee says:

    I am new to this and I am sure there have been a few, “Does she really believe that?” lol But that is okay. My eyes are open but my hope for recovery for my son will never change. If we have two good days I am thrilled. I can’t wait until mine can come home, but it isn’t time yet – and he won’t and never has been to rehab so I sure his chances are slim right now to stay sober. I know people who didn’t go to rehab or had gone and relapsed and when they were done using they were done. Never stop believing or give up your hope. You never know which time will be the time he stay sober.

  8. Debby says:

    My son is six months clean and sober. Like Ron said… I hope every day will be one more day of his sobriety. I also know relapses happen. Still, never EVER give up hope. I’m a big believer in prayer. Blessings to you.

  9. Renee says:

    I will never give up hope and don’t think any of us should. He is making prgress and it doesn’t always have to be the progress we think should happen and in the way we think it should happen. Progress is progress, so Yeah for him!! I am glad you are feeling hopeful and some peace.

  10. Renee C. says:

    I am so glad you feel some hope and I hope he gets it. We are all here for you.

  11. Syd says:

    Hope is a great thing. And just taking things one day at a time helps me to keep my expectations in check.

  12. I’m not rolling my eyes either!

    Rehab or residential treatment has some uses, but many people succeed in recovery without residential treatment.

    One function of residential treatment is to interrupt chaotic drug use. It doesn’t sound like your son needs that right now.

    Another function is to provide a time and place to provide recovery education. It sounds like your son has been to rehab before and may not need this right now either.

    Another function of rehab is to provide a safe place away from people, places and things that are part of negative behavior patterns, so that new behavior patterns can have a chance to gain some strength before being tested in the community.

    It seems reasonable to take a wait and see approach for now given your son’s strong feeling that he does not want or need rehab right now, and the signs that he is implementing new behavior patterns without rehab.

    If he does experience a return to use (a main symptom of his addiction), then it would be time to reassess the situation. If the use was brief followed by a return to non-use, then it might make sense to continue with the status quo. If the use was not self-limiting, then other options might be considered such as residential treatment.

    I like what Gal said about two steps forward and one step back. Not only do I think you should keep hoping, I think you should keep hoping even if your sons recovery continues to be a work in progress.

  13. This is great news! No eye rolling here either! Just big hugs and lots of prayers sent your way!!!!

  14. heathersmom1 says:

    No rolling eyes here! I always keep hope. I have seen enough kids get clean and stay clean to know that it DOES happen – and who knows when the time is. Of course there are as many who don’t, but why can’t we have hope and the ensuing peace – maybe even some laughter and joy in our lives?
    Love & hugs!

  15. Em says:

    like Syd said, take it one day at a time 🙂 you are both in my prayers.

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