My husband and I realize that we are in a position to force J into inpatient rehab. We could clearly say “J go to rehab and we will pay for a lawyer or do nothing but know that the police will be coming and you can not “use” and stay here. I suspect right now he will consider leaving and looking for a place to hide, before he entertains the idea of rehab. When he realizes there really is no place for him to go he probably will concede. I pray that he finds no place to go. So I really need words of wisdom should we force him into rehab for one last-ditch effort or kick him out where he will surely go to jail. Not forcing him feels like totally giving up on him and turning him over completely to his disease.
After reading “Heather’s Mom” Blog I question my motives and my sanity of the above paragraph. Here is a small excerpt from her blog that hit a resounding nerve and I can not stop thinking about it.
In a book I am reading it says, “We cannot make choices for other people, even those most important to us. We are not gods, and we can’t truly know what is best for anyone else, no matter how obvious a particular course of action may seem to us at the time.”
What I need to know is I love her and love does not mean controlling her or making her conform to my ideas. I can love her exactly where she is and for who she is.
Now that my friends is profound information…implementing it may take every ounce of strength I have and I am not sure I really have it in me.