Please J FIGHT for your life…

We have not given in and it is so hard on both of us but for different reasons. My husband is the fixer in the family. It is a quality that defines him as a father and as a husband. He is not willing to pay for a lawyer again so he is trying to fix it in other ways. He likes to have control over all chaos. It is so exhausting for him!  I want to fix it because I am his mother and that’s what I do or used to do anyway. So he has no car, no phone, limited access to the computer and no help from us. I think J is starting to come to terms with what he did and that very real consequences are happening. Some days it definitely looks like he has just given up and other days it looks like he is going to fight for his life.  I am asking for specific prayers that my son chooses to fight for his life. I know now that I can not fight for him, no matter how much I love him. Please GOD send my son the strength and will to fight for his life.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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12 Responses to Please J FIGHT for your life…

  1. Sherry says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

  2. We’re right here praying with you! HUGS!

  3. Barbara says:

    Prayers, thoughts of hope for all of you. You are not alone. Please keep us posted and keep sharing your thoughts and feelings. It sounds like J is “getting it”. I am praying this is a turning point….

  4. prayers at every N.A. meeting when we take that moment of silence, those are for J, for you and your family may you all find the peace and happiness you deserve.

  5. Helga says:

    You are in my thoughts and prayers as well. We are powerless over our kids’ decisions, but we can pray for them. That is all we can do and hope our prayers will be answered.

  6. gal says:

    Such a heartbreaking place to be for loving parents. My prayers that your son starts to get it and wants to fix his life…and that you find a peaceful place in your mind to get through this in one piece. Hang in there. I know we’re all pulling for you and your family. And remember, you haven’t blundered and you’re not at fault!
    -Gal

  7. Will do! Also praying for you and your husband.
    Love & (((hugs)))

  8. Renee says:

    Dear Lord, please provide a divine intervention for J and help his parents be able to let go and to have peace. Amen.

  9. Syd says:

    When the other options are limited, it is amazing what people will do. I hope that J’s spirit will move in the direction of living and healing.

  10. Cheri says:

    Agreeing with you in prayer, my friend.

    Hang in there.

    I will pass on your specific request to the partners at Glass House Ministries also.

    Hugs,
    Cheri

  11. Ron Grover says:

    I am trying to catch up and this post really hit home. I too am a fixer. I understand perfectly your husbands issues. As a fixer you are naturally a control freak. I am sooooo there.

    It took me years to figure out I cannot fix this for my son. It’s like I have a huge toolbox and it is overflowing with all the tools needed but I am not allowed to even touch the tool box. Frustration is immense and that just leads to anger.

    Finally I have learned I can only fix myself and offer to my son tools to use. When I look inside I see through all of this there is a lot broke in me too from neglect. I have become short tempered, impatient, and not nearly as caring for my wife. Physically through all of this I have gained 30-40 pounds, and I eat unhealthy foods because the make me feel good. Financially I have spent more money than I care to count on toys for me and things trying to fix him. I’m sure there are tools in that box I can use on myself too. I am limiting myself to only those.

    This is just the perspective of another dad that fixes everything. I’m working on me now. My son must work on himself.

    • Cheri says:

      Ron,

      Your honest reply hit home with me too. That was the exact place I found myself in! I think there is one in every relationship. In our situation, I was the fixer, and my husband stood by waiting for me to figure out I couldn’t fix everything!

      Hang in there,
      Cheri

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