I don’t think there is any happily ever after for an addict or his family. I think there is a very long road with many peaks and valleys with no real times of complete peace. I am quite sure that when and if my son goes into a full-fledged recovery, I would still have this nagging little sense of unease. It is so unsettling to feel stress a good part of every day. In the past two years I have lost close to 40 pounds. People ask me all the time how I did it. I really didn’t know how to respond, now I just tell them it was the “stress diet”…most say nothing after that. I am thrilled to be average weight again, but I would gain back every single pound and give up everything I own for everything to go back to the way it was before this evil drug consumed everything in its path.
Court is tomorrow. My son’s life is taking another path deeper into this hell called addiction. Now, he is on the radar of every policeman that works in our small town. If he doesn’t turn his life around now, it will only be a matter of time before he ends up in jail for a long time. He still thinks his twinkling blue eyes and sun shiny smile is going to get him out of trouble. I don’t know what to say to him …it really doesn’t seem to matter anyway. So I will say nothing and I will not go tomorrow. I am not sure he will notice.