I had a panic attack…

Today when I got home from work I realized  I had not talked to my son all day and he of course was not home.  I called him on his cell phone and it went straight to voicemail.  I assumed that he had turned his phone off but prayed maybe it was just dead.  You see when things are not good he will disappear and not respond to a text or calls.  He doesn’t like to lie to me but will if he feels he has no other choice and getting caught is not something he would choose.  I assumed the worse when he did not respond to my repeated attempts to get a hold of him.  I actually thought I might have been having a heart attack, my heart was pounding, I was sweaty and nauseous all at the same time.  I was only home with my six-year-old who kept asking If I was going to be ok?  I tried pretending everything was fine but my poor little one wasn’t buying it.  He finally decided to pretend too…it was sad.  After about two hours my son responded, he said everything was fine he had turned off his phone when he went to his meeting this afternoon and then had left it there.  He went back to get his phone and saw my 3000 messages and  took pity on me and called me back.  You would think when he heard the complete panic in my voice, maybe he would have been apologetic but he was just angry.  He says I am driving him crazy!  HIM CRAZY?  Welcome to my world!

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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3 Responses to I had a panic attack…

  1. Sue G says:

    The hardest lesson (or one of the hardest, especially concerning my kids or friends I really love) I have learned is that I cannot be more involved in someone’s problem than they are. I can’t want to help them more than they want to help themselves. I can’t be more invested than they are.

    It isn’t easy, and that is an understatement.

    Sometimes the best way to learn to walk a new path is when the current one brings us to our knees.

    Stay strong in the Lord. Stay strong in your love for your son. Stay strong in the image you hold of him, an image of him whole and healthy. But don’t believe you can do this for him…or even with him.

    He has to do it for himself.

  2. Becky Smith says:

    Well, it’s kind of tough to follow the very wise and verbal Sue G, but I want to tack on behind her and say how much I agree with what she said.

    As a mom of a beloved son of my own, I can’t begin to imagine the fear and emotional pain that your son’s behavior brings you–please remember you’re not alone and there is ALWAYS hope!

    Peace to you today,
    Becky

  3. Syd says:

    I think that my attempts at controlling and obsessing over another will drive them crazy because I am already crazy for doing those things. So that’s two crazy people trying to have a relationship which just doesn’t work.

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