I visit an alanon chatroom. I almost always feel better after spending time with people who understand what it’s like to live in a life of almost constant turmoil. I asked a question and the answer was an epiphany: My question was “Why are things the same if he is no longer using? ” and a very wise person said “Recovery is change…in attitude and in how they treat themselves and others”. Duh…It’s not just about stopping? Go figure??? I thought the cure-all would be him not using and everything would go back to the way it was two years ago. I mean I didn’t think it would be an instantaneous change but i definitely did NOT think it would be the same bullshit! In some respects it’s worse because my expectations for him have been raised but his own expectations for himself have not. His priorities are the same. In this order: sleep, friends, girlfriend, food. Our priorities for him are in this order: a normal schedule, college, job. Can you see the conflict here? Right now nothing on our list even makes it on to his radar. I hate this life we are all leading.
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